“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.”—Romans 5:6 (ESV)
Are you ugly?
Have you heard of the word flawesome?
I bet you are reading the word for the first time, but a flawesome individual is one ‘who embraces their flaws and knows they are awesome regardless’.
To be flawesome is to dig deep to generate love for something that is unloveable. Such people will love their ugly finger nails because they have convinced themselves that the nails are not actually ugly.
In other words, this is trying to find the reason for love in the object of love itself. Let me explain: the flawesome loves because the other person is loveable, better still they try to make them loveable.
Locating the reason for love in the object of love itself is what ruins our relationships. It’s no surprise that our relationships are shoddy. If you asked two lovebirds why they love each other, you will hear them scoop out their lover’s attributes as if they are filling an ice cream cone.
This may sound good but therein rests the tragedy. What if you woke up one morning and those attributes have vanished from the person you say you love, will you still love them? You won’t. And don’t try to say that you will try because we all know you won’t.
The lovelessness, mockery, hate, and chaos that happen under the sun are because we try to find a reason to love people in the very people we are trying to love. In the end, when we have found none, the whining sets in.
St Paul wrote in Romans 5:6 that while we were powerless, Christ died for us. But he did more than that, he also told us why Christ had to die our death. It’s obvious that the reason has nothing to do with us, because he quickly bursts our bubble before we even claim the bragging rights: we were powerless.
In the same chapter, the eighth verse he writes: “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Paul locates Jesus’ reason for loving and dying for us in Jesus Himself: “…but God shows his love for us in that…”If Christ was to look for a reason in us to come down here and save us, there would be no salvation.
If we are to genuinely love people, we will need a shift in paradigm. We will have to stop looking for a reason in the people we should love, but above all, fixing people in order to produce in them the robots that we will love should be thrown out of the window once and for all.
The reason we love people is outside of them and outside of us as well. St John writes: “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19, ESV). It is love that begets love; reasons don’t produce love.
You are loved by God, make that your singular focus and it will produce in you a love so fierce, hopeless, reckless and illogical; a love that will leave the world dumb-struck and standing on its head.
That is your Lifeline, AMEN